Here it is already the 10th of January 2015.... Time is flying... It's only 349 days 'till Christmas... That's CRAZY when you think about it..... So let's not, and say we did... My "Momo", (pronounced Mom-O) usta say that...dI'd t ever and still don't have any idea why she said that...
Thinking of her, My "Momo"... She is what I aspire to be. She loved, she was a "caretaker", she was flamboyant in all the right ways...There was a time in my life that I would pray for a God to take me before her because I didn't think I could or wanted to live my life without her. She passed on Dec. 26, 1977...Two days before Christmas, a few years later, they discovered my Daddy had cancer , I knew I couldn't live past my Daddy passing.... After all he was only 62 years old... He passed on St Patrick's Day The very next year 1982...Then one of our FosterSons passed on January 2 a few years after that. A few years after that my Step-Daughter passed the day after Thanksgiving...Then that brings us to 1/1/06 My Mom passed... All of these were significant losses in my life... All passing anniversaries in less than 6 weeks each and every year.
This morning a very dear friend of ours passed, we celebrated his 70th Birthday New Years Day. He, His loving wife and his family valiantly fought for months with his bout with brain cancer.
I want to take an idea from sports commentator Stewart Scott who passed recently from cancer. During his battle he eluded to the fact that if we pass from cancer, it doesn't necessarily mean we failed in battling it. But that the winning is in how we fight the battle... Our friend and his family fought valiantly, with joy for each and every day with love for each other and sharing every blessed minute...
Another passing/graduation to celebrate during the Holidays.......Joe, we will miss your smile, your love, your caring spirit....man did we have fun... You are an awesome Man, a husband, father, uncle, brother, grandpa and friend. You worked hard at everything you ever did... It was and is an honor to call you our friend.
Grief is totally unpredictable. Grief is personal. Grief is ever-changing. I tell people all the time that loss is undeniable....no one gets through life without it. How we navigate this is the challenge. In my case that people would find it necessary to tell me to ... "Put on my big girl pants and "get over it".... Nope... That wasn't and isn't for me...I can't "get over it". Sincerely, I don't believe it's necessary, to "get over it"... But the thing that is imperative, for me, is that I can endeavor to "live passed it". I work to define a new "Normal" after each great loss. To me the loss of your child or your spouse has to be the worst...but in each and every loss, it's important to allow yourself time and experience... Start learning how to breathe again...Really, you will breathe again....it'll just be different, and different is ok.
So I said all that to say, "The Holidays come with a mixed bag of tricks. This is true for many many others as well. Finding a soft place to land in these times is very important. Surrounding yourselves with loving, gentle, understanding folks is of utmost importance. The Holidays alone are enough to make a sane person talk to themselves...and then you add sickness, loss & grief, well a mountain called "Holiday" can be seriously overwhelming.
At Christmas time we can see the JOY that the Savior brings as we celebrate His Triumphant birth. But it's hard to keep up the pretenses without lots of determination. I have a young friend who has suffered great loss and throughout this past Holiday Season she was able to hang on to and surpass her greatest expectation with a goal that she was determined to accomplish. She had good people around her, she had soft places to rest, she designed her activities to ensure her success. A good lesson for us all. Singlehandedly, we accomplish...."not much".... Together we accomplish "much".
Then comes the January Blues...I'm "Fightin Back With Joy"
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